Adults with ADHD Emerging from Survival Mode

Remembering Joy: A Guide for Adults with ADHD Emerging from Survival Mode

by Dr. Justin Herbert, PharmD | Resilient Clarity | Wellness Arts Collaborative

“How do I figure out what I even enjoy anymore?”

If that question resonates, you’re not broken. You’re resurfacing.

Many adults with ADHD spend years in survival mode—putting out fires, masking, over-functioning, or shutting down. When a rare moment of free time shows up, your brain may default to dissociation: scrolling, numbing, zoning out. That’s not laziness. That’s your nervous system doing its best to keep you safe in a world that hasn’t always made space for your needs.

So if you’re 39 and feel like the last time you knew what you enjoyed was at 18—you’re not behind. You’re reconnecting with a part of you that’s been patiently waiting.

What Happens in Survival Mode

Play feels unsafe
Choice feels overwhelming
Free time feels unfamiliar
You default to what’s easy: numbing, scrolling, rehashing old fears

Dissociation isn’t failure. It’s an adaptation.

And the moment you notice it? That’s already a sign of healing.

The 10% Rule: A Starting Point for Rediscovery

Forget the pressure to “find your passion” or return to who you were before life got hard. Start smaller:

“What would be 10% more nourishing than this right now?”

That question alone can shift you from autopilot to awareness.

Maybe it’s:

Sitting outside for 3 minutes instead of scrolling
Putting your phone down and taking one deep breath
Listening to music you loved as a teen
Using your hands for something small — cooking, sketching, cleaning, creating

Don’t aim for joy. Aim for less drained. That’s enough.

You’re Not Behind

ADHD can distort time. Trauma can pause parts of your development. You may feel “late” to joy — but you’re right on time for the version of you who’s showing up now.

You don’t need to solve it all this week. But you can start noticing:

What doesn’t feel like work?
What doesn’t drain you?
What gives you even the tiniest flicker of aliveness?

That’s your thread. Follow it slowly.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re ready to reconnect with the part of you that knows joy, play, and rest aren’t luxuries — they’re your birthright — then you’re in the right place.

At Resilient Clarity, we don’t rush healing. We remember it.

Want support rediscovering who you are?

Explore our guided tools, neurodivergent-friendly spaces, and somatic practices that work with your nervous system — not against it.

Your story isn’t over.
It’s just entering a new chapter.

— Dr. Justin Herbert, PharmD